When you can't fall asleep at night, do you ever think its the fight you put up to fall asleep that makes you feel worn out in the morning? And that maybe if you had just stayed up you'd feel fine?

Fighting the good fight. Dreaming myself to sleep.

It was a ray of light breaking through the smog of the ordinary, from the eternal sun that is our fate.

I'll happily take the rays, wherever they may come from. Happy little random rays.

So aware of being so far behind, of running on empty before the gate even opens. Telling myself that well rehearsed line, but the more its said, the more it sounds like a lie.

My problems seem so insignificant and yet they consume everything. I can reason myself in/out of anything but lately I just cant find the loop.

So aware of why I needed to drink and pill myself to sleep. Without them my dreams are haunted by the day when the only thing I've got left is my unconsiousness.

These lights dont shine as bright as I expected them too, but they are heavier than I imagined.

"Birds are men without sorrows and men are birds without wings"

I can live with the weight of these 10 men knowing you were once mine.

Put another crossroads on the map. Draw it there in red, force me to choose.

Each second thought makes the gap grow wider.

How can I best serve you? I could save your life or ruin it. You may do the same.

I hear myself in your voice. My eyes are your filter. Why won't you use me.

I can't make heads or tails of the words your spinning.

The last thing I want to do is get it all wrong. I'd die if I made things worse. Thats all I seem to do lately.

I refuse to let you go. You could never be too far gone.

I'm afraid you'll hang yourself with anymore rope.

Terrified that I'm already fashioning the noose, in just your perfect size.





Why does the month of August always bring so many exasperated tears?

To My Favorite 10: The Finest Steps

When I'm with you and your fingers aren't broken and your voice is as sweet as ever, I can peer past the night clouds and through to that sapphire sky. Its a cushion for the prettiest little gems, and they are so close I think they shine in our eyes. Enchanted eyes that dance and laugh and best of all, believe our dreams. Where fulfillment isn't only a possiblity, but a promise.

Hearts that beat in harmony, elated to have found another on the same frequency.

Your face in the glow of the dashboard is a painting, proof that understanding can be perfect.

{I didn't realize how alone I was until I met you. I didn't dare to dream you existed.}