Cancelled My Appearences Today

"Even if you happen to be taking the day off, your mind is still probably lingering on serious matters. These are rather busy times for you and you need to make the most of your energy while you have it. Consider the foundations you are building for the entire year ahead. A bit of practical thinking today could pay off in the days and weeks ahead."


"I expect you to live there". No pressure. I'm not just doing it for her. Really, its all about me. And I know it may not be fair, but you think of it more than it is. And life itsn't fair anyway.

The Two Are Exactly the Same. But Polar Opposites.

Its so odd being here, when nothing seems to know where its at.
Spring flowers are blooming but the seasonal trees are loosing their leaves.
Both are set agianst a backdrop of static evergreen and a gentle sun that rises late and sets early.
The smell of the dead leaves conjures up images of glowing pumpkins and approaching holidays, which is confusing when directly below the blossoms believe it is indeed spring, making their presence known by fragrant bursts they feel necessary to interject.
The temperature doesn't help. It too is unsure, so much so that its frozen in the only range that is fitting for both seasons.
And its January. It can be neither.
And yet its both.
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What a wonder its so doubly fitting for the day. I rocked it in class though, especially because everyone's first reaction was a firm "What? No" and when they let their minds open ever so slightly they realized I was spot on. I love giving the opportunity for "aHa"s.

Chrysalis-Exigency

Golden Shell. Oh if you knew what lay beneath. Solid or hollow. Your call. Or mine.



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Suddenly suffocated by the thought of it never being the same again. Grasping to find something concrete because I foolishly let it slip by at the moment in vain hopes to actually remember it. Remember the feeling. Yes, I do. Terrified of loosing it. I wish I could really explain why this means so much and is so important. And why it needs to be those dates, those moments, my vantage point.



Life breathed at me. Into me. Intoxicating. Intoxicated.




The only real solid[arity] left. And I just must see
it every breathing moment.


Fallen under the spell, and there is no where I'd rather be.

"Why Hello, Human Beings. Nice to See You Living and Breathing Up There"

Thats all for now. Just didn't want to forget that. Prof. Butler: Wills and Trusts. And oh what a shame, the bookstore's roof has caved in.

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[Later On...]

Trying my hardest to stick to the plan.

Not the going to class plan. That one isn't official.

I want so many things. Most of them can be bought, if only there was enough money in my world. Shallow? Yep. Materialistic? Sure is. But at least I'm not asking for rainbows or pink puppies and purple glitter kitties. Just because I think a monster rug is awesome doesn't mean anything.

And you think its sweet too. Dont lie.

Money Talks To Double Your Pleasure

Pop slides and unnecessary trills serve as blinders, eagerily handed and readily accepted by listeners. Counterfit. And just as a counterfit Benjamin spends easily and willingly, as soon as your presented with a legal Grant you notice what you've been missing and how dubbed you've been. The colors don't compare, and the attention to detail, no matter how "tried" could never match the real deal. Even if it is a lesser bill.

Finding a way to be your Grant.





Update: put in place in a bizonic kind of way. pianissimo, well enuciated, simple musical sort-of perfection. surprised and feeling a little guilty. just in the nick of time.

"Anything New Goes Straight Into the Mouth"

My latest Enterprise location happens to be at an "Executive Airport" and in a private airline's (is it an airline? company? airtraffic control company? whatever, I should know, but I dont) building. Looking out the windows to the all of the private jets you only see in celebmags with stars getting in and out of made me think of John Travolta and a magazine spread I saw of him once with his private plane. Oh, and Look Who's Talking 2. I loved those movies as a kid. So of course I half expected some celebrity with huge sunglasses and the typical Louis Vuitton luggage to walk through the automatic doors. Instead, after waiting in the heat for forever and content to not see anyone famous due to my sweaty-hat wearing-bright green gym short and disgusting hair appearance [I keep telling myself I need to be more presentable being that I do live in MIA now, and the general desire to be that girl whose hair and makeup is always perfect, but old habits die hard], I half-wittingly just sat and watched some guy in the same loafers my dad always used to wear get an ice-cream out of a vending machine and 3 couples have "new" conversation before what I assume was take one of those planes. Dressed in sweaters and boots (mind you, this is Miami), maybe they're headed to Colorado? To the North East? A man did walk in, wheeling his very sophisticated little carryon with a multiple directional wheeling radius, big dark sunglasses and all. Probably latin with money. If not, then European. Money assumed. All in all, uneventful. Though I do reccomend picking an Enterprise in a similar location if possible. I didn't see any tiny little horrible cars---with the types of cars they share the lot with (I don't think I've seen so many Range Rovers parked in one area) I'm betting its some sort of company policy. I got a brand new 2008 Chevy. Its no Land Rover but its most certainly no teal Kia so rickety and low to the ground that its sole purpose in existing truely must have been to instill in the driver the fear of God and forced reverence to the highway.


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P.S. Kahlua's Mudslides are nothing like Bailey's, and don't hold a candle to the hint of caramel. Don't let them fool you.

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where are you in my memory? who are you in my life? someone. who?

Who is still out there. confident W hasn't yet crossed my path. but who where are you?

"It Was Gone Right Then"

My eyes have such trouble
gathering whats right there
So hard not to see double
Oh. and. woe. wheres the despair.

Harder [Easier] to just look past
As if its not quite there
Must look through and by
Aches and pains dont last.

"You Could 'Cause You Can So You Do"

When one evens out the other gets louder, and but for no other reason than fear of abandonment, it begins to speak up again.
And I don't know what to do with them.
Whimsical vs. Vintage....they can exist together but neither likes to clutter up the territory with things they don't feel belong. The continuity is at risk and neither wants to conceed it. But they're both there.

Not sure who to let win. Or declare a defeat for all, which would mean a victory for both. Ahhh but at what cost?

Jump That Net Girl

Its harder this time, though I can't lay down why. And I know you're well meaning, but my standards aren't too high and my feet aren't too far off the ground--You really do love me for the reason you hate me.

Even their severest critics attributed certain virtues to the Irish: a talent for inventive fantasy and picturesque or witty...and yet more is lost, awaiting its long-lost predicate.

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Where Are We?

The dust has only just begun to fall.
Sinking. Feeling.
Spin me around again.
Cannot take "this can't be happening".

Playing hide and seek with myself. The secret is to never look for the eyes. Catch[ing]-23.

"If you don't expect much out of me, I'll always exceed your expectations"--2007. Can't bring myself to think of 08 and can't possibly stop oh-so-nonchalantly obsessing. How does one play games with fivehundredtwentyfivethousandsixhundredminutes?