I really do love Cased Crystal

mcr is playing chi tonite. i want to be in chi tonite.
i want to be anywhere. thats there.
my skull is bored and my chest is restless.
and now all the cookies are gone. damnit.

To say this made my week, or even month, would be an understatement.

I got this message from a college friend, whom I haven't heard from or talked to in two years, today...

"ok so...
the other day this girl was wearing your homecoming shirt
you know, the coca-cola one
and i was like oh! i love [her]!
and she was like i don't even know who that is
and i was like
well. that's unfortunate. because she is AMAZING."

I miss that lovely place, and [some of] those [lovely] people, and the wonderful way we were, more than mere words could ever be strung together to express

St. Clever and Sir Cabaret playing with Grass Rabbits

Auto Response from Xx STxX (7:53:13 PM): Knockin' on heaven's door.... I wonder what it's like inside?
lovely (7:53:13 PM): ______________

Well I hear, I hear its paved with gold

And the souls taking up residence there

Seem as though they've never been old

No more hardships or life's wear and tear

But then again, thats just what I hear

Xx STxX (8:26:44 PM): where's that from?
lovely (8:26:51 PM): my head

(names changed)

"Beautiful Line"

"Honey, I'm both sides of every coin in your pocket"

yellow and white luncheons
to black eyes and gloss bleeding lips

what if non-fiction is all these fingers have left in them
or that creative only comes in how well spun the spin is

You're a cool cat, but as a species you spend too much time yawning.
There's a reason every Lion cast in gold has ruby eyes.

"I don't want to" simply means it. though I can be talked into many things. mostly because my mind is 10 steps ahead of you in the weighing and balancing act, consequence vs. not, not vs. opportunity, and that you can't always pick out what I care about.

It didn't mean "Beautiful Line" but I like it.

Schools of Thought

I realized as I was putting up an away message just now that I forgot about something someone said to me recently about my messages. I've covered the "depressing" ground just a few posts ago, and whats funny is that this other individual brought it up to me that, to him, A) my messages are either hilarious rants, or B) sappy lovey dovey creations.

Funny, no? The dichotomy between the two 'schools' is strange enough. Beyond that though, its that I cannot remember one thing I've put up that was about love, and if there was anything broaching the subject it was certainly in a strictly observational fashion-or sweet talking, because I was happy with the world, manner.
Regardless, it was definatly not in a sappy "I see rainbows in your eyes and I've got butterflies in my heart" kind of way. And thats for sure. I'm not in love, I don't pretend to be in love, I'm not wistfully wishing for love. So it makes me wonder where in the world he got this.

Then it dawns on me. He's reading into the messages just like everyone does. They read them off their screen, each with their own little cheese-cloth filter into their minds of particularized circumstances, and though its English, its read with so many different dialects that without spelling it out-as I do in most of my rants-the words and feeling behind them are wide open to interpretation. And as frusterating as it can be, its really quite wonderful and exciting. Here I explain until the words run out, and other times I'm so purposely vauge that the gaps beg your imagination to take over.

Because maybe, just maybe, the company there will have something to review for the application.

That, every little once in a while, your imagination wanders from point A to B using my words as skipping stones is more significant than you could possibly fathom. Even when traveling along.

I hope I hear in your voice what I think I do. Because of all that Ive said, you still delight in trips down memory lane holding our tiny toddler hands.

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I love the smell of a group of well dressed Europeans mingling with the night air. Thats really not as weird as it looks to be.

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Stock Plot Moments and Not-So Stock Pairings

We dont get to choose who we'll be standing next to
when the clouded night sky gives way.
I'm there, in that memory too,
whether its where I wished I was or not.
They may feel like moments stolen
by and from the open hands of the greedy and lonely.
But we don't get to choose who is standing next to us when the night sky gives way.

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To the 29th Degree

Put the phone down. Flip the sidekick shut. Close the computer in half.



I think that if I were in a room with other people I could be/should be socializing with and only saw their faces by the blue electronic glow, that I would be very angry. I just think to the times I travelled Europe and the interesting conversations I had and the entertaining exchanges I have added to a list of "fond memories". And how awful it would've been to have filled those moments with meaningless clicks. We were more or less forced together and used each other out of boredom. Socialize. Nothing online is so important that it needs more than a five minute dedication. No one on AIM or by txt messaging needs to speak with you for longer than 30 seconds. It doesn't matter if you wish you had brought different shoes, or that their lunch break was cut short. What matters is what's going on around you. Be part of it.

Yes, I'm on here. ALOT. But never in a crowded room sulking to myself. And txting/msging someone that could be breathing on you isn't any better. In fact, its probably worse.

Many people have been giving me what I percieved as grief in regards to my away messages. They call them depressing, and while some may not be full of sunshine and smiles, I never thought I was coming across as so 'down'. Turns out, after a little more explanation, its not that they are that bad...but read as a type of tragic eloquenence, and with that combo. I'm declaring it to have a level of depth. Well, what do you know. Their words, not mine. Now I've just got to get this worked into vocalization and I can finally edit my mysapce about me.

And for some AIM convo. loving: (names changed)

Xx STxX (12:59:25 AM): u and *crazy* are psychically connected
lovely (1:01:06 AM): huh????
Xx STxX (1:01:13 AM): u IM me
Xx STxX (1:01:18 AM): 2 seconds later
Xx STxX (1:01:21 AM): there he is
lovely (1:02:37 AM): euwh
lovely (1:03:14 AM): that must be the reason he is needing "awe" from me, because he is completely vapid and void of it himself
Xx STxX (1:03:26 AM): LMAO
Xx STxX (1:03:34 AM): can that be my away message???
Xx STxX (1:03:38 AM): pleaseeeeeee
lovely (1:03:45 AM): LMAO
lovely (1:03:51 AM): ummmmmm
lovely (1:03:57 AM): I dont want to die a meathead death
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Xx STxX (1:52:03 AM): what is that thing?
lovely (1:52:08 AM): ?
Xx STxX (1:52:20 AM): the picture u just sent me?
lovely (1:52:25 AM): its a 'secret' somebody made
Xx STxX (1:52:38 AM): oh, okay- so it's not a real person
lovely (1:52:41 AM): no no no
lovely (1:52:43 AM): yes, it is
lovely (1:52:45 AM): Its *soandso*
lovely (1:52:54 AM): in his 'stage'
Xx STxX (1:52:55 AM): IT'S A BOY???????????

I've gotton that same reaction twice now this week. I do not make the most sense. But no one ever said I had to prove that I can.
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I appreciate how oil and water the first and last parts this post are.

I drove all the way with the the label sticker stuck around my finger.

Beautiful melancoly and smoked velvet blue walls reflecting the ivory and lemon chiffon.

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{Not So} Very Random

I sometimes like to play random little games. I think it stems from my belief in the inter-connectivity of so much. I've been over this before, and I know I'll cover it again, when it blows my mind out of its universe once more.

Anyway, I like to play "ask the radio" every once in a while. Its a lot like a magic-8 ball. And I don't think it counts if you use your computer media's player. Its got to be the radio. I digress. I didn't play that today, so moving on.

Here's a new little game:

Directions:

1. Go to Wikipedia and click on Random Article (at the left). This will be the name of your band.

2. Go to Quotations Page and click on Random Quotes (at the left). The last four words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your album.

3. Go to flickr and click on Explore the Last Seven Days (you'll find it at the bottom of the page). Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

*

Answers:

1) "Woolshed" and because I'm not an Aussie, "SxC" (yeah, thats a cheat)

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2) "And fall fast asleep". I love this. (from the Craig Ferguson quote page--didn't cheat this time, I swear).

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3) Found Here. I like it and its title that reminds me of my Grandma.

I don't know this artist, but a quick browse through the rest of her (his?) images satisfied a need for dreamily conjured images I didn't realize I was so missing. They remind me of books I used to have as a child, all of my love for everything equine, and how many of the images in mind exist: fuzzy with sun and moonlight.

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And because searching Flickr gave me these I'll give them to you:

"Capture that feeling and you will understand what is means to be a person of destiny. "

This is beautiful and reminds me of Cabaret. Even though Sally was most certainly a blonde.

And finally, another creation from the first picture's creator above. I think that if (WHEN) I need cover art for something somewhere, that I would like to contact her. I enjoy the dreams matched with reality. If that isn't a snippet of me, I do not know what is.

"Photography records the gamut of feelings written on the human face, the beauty of the earth and skies that man has inherited, and the wealth and confusion man has created. It is a major force in explaining man to man."--E. Steichen