"Not Thinking"

not ever so slightly so, but very much the same

constant fight to feel the middle

searching for something in every.thing-creating, because I won't succomb to the lost, without it: I'll see it one way or the back door other. Its there.

this is a black hole the spin isn't able to drag me out of anymore. look at the statements. self-imposed static. the kind that creates those painful shocks.

what [if it really is] a tragic consumation of a life thus far [if even only to me?]