Tell Me All Your Thoughts on God

when you can pick out the piccolo strain and instantaneously imagine what it would be like to create that character and perform it for a scene you know you should've never left

and when a fellow artist, who also was 'forced' to leave, can finish your sentences, you know your poor hearts are broken in the same places

and we do it to ourselves. I love Ayn Rand. I love being a capatalist. But I don't love it for the same reason I should be an artist. Although Ayn Rand may beg to differ. And agree with me in the same breath.

Sometimes I wonder where this black vs. white came from. I don't see it in anyone around me.

I is a powerful word. Just as powerful, albeit more so, than why. And we all know my feelings on why.
The former must always be anwsered, and if you don't do so, or at least get a grasp, you could never utter those sacred words and have them mean a damn thing.
The latter is a forever mystery.

my ginger snaps say that according to 16th century European folklore eating them made people kinder. I told my dad this, and being half funny/half serious he asked "is it even possible for you to be any kinder?"
Thing is, I really want to go somewhere to see someone the night before my best friend's wedding. I've already promised her I'd spend the night with her after the rehearsal dinner (only a few blocks away from this event! if not a few hours removed in time), and I've given up a lot for this wedding and done a lot for her---because I love her, and it makes me happy to do so, really and honestly, but....
I know I shouldn't go out. But it just all seems so perfect except for the damn timing.
What makes this so much more pressing is this feeling of immediacy I have about the whole situtaion, for no real good reason. I happen to find out they'll be somewhere by total luck, luck I wouldn't otherwise have, and something keeps nagging at me that this is important. But I've got no proof that its important. And no one else to go with me if she doesn't. And I'm not sure if this nagging makes it important enough to go alone (that would be a huge leap). On top of that she would be so unhappy if I went period. And I don't want her to be unhappy before her wedding. (I'm getting tired of the word wedding).
Am I being too kind for not going?
Should I go?
This will either immensely matter in 30 years or won't even be a blip on a 30 yr. radar.

this is a full on pout. and to be quite honest, i am hating pouting. can't we just make it work?

I just want something to go my way for once in a long while. (passing classes doesn't count, as thankful as I am)



naggingfeelingnaggingfeelingnaggingfeeling