Carnival Offsets

I'm either on or I'm off.
And the middle is either painfully static or such a mix of off and on that its as though you've known me for ages and never thought to hear me speak.
And I can stand in two countries at once. Each foot firmly planted in the land of "off" and the continent known as "on", respectively.
Straight up and leaning. Shuffle. Ball change; weights shifted.
Because no one can stand flat all the time.
Do you ever find yourself holding your breath and balancing on one foot?
Just as you notice, gasping for breath and struggling to stay on the wire, when your eyes flash white with the vision of falling.
I can remember the process of training myself to become more self-aware and then the deprogramming that was necessary to stop the endless obsession with over-analyzation.
How am I doing?